Even though I wanted to do it, I intended to wait for marriage. He made me do it with him, and it wasn't any fun at all. Now that we've done ... thing... ... I realize how badly he was treating me. He used me, and you ... loved me. You know how to love a woman instead of just take what you please and go one with your life as if it didn't happen. Caleb acted just like the other men. I was something for him to use. Even though he talked sweet to get me alone, when he had me defenseless, he took. It was hesitant and simple and soft and beautiful and so unlike the Xander I knew. The Xander from Miami who was all hot and sexy Alfa male, but knew how to laugh and have fun. The Xander I had been treating like a yo-yo lately was far more serious and aggressive if just as hot and alfa. This kiss was none of those things, and for all of those reasons, it felt like our first kiss ever.It also wasn’t very long until he backed up again, a look of sadness in his eyes.“I can’t believe I fucked this. More

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